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.........how Dulcinea learnt to recognise a Guzzi and to differentiate.................

Amongst the many two-cylinder bike riders who try to catch the various emotions that are aroused by a lower chassis, an unusual exhaust pipe, shining assembly work or simply by a motorbike that has nothing in common with the original, there are very few, including me, who have ever really repaired their bike themselves. All my knowledge and insight into the two cylinder world, which I today master with obvious ease, is the result of that self discipline, which, as part and parcel of my entry into the Guzzi world, forced me onto the pillion.

With this beginning, the adversities began that one has to suffer when sharing a seat with the driver of a motorbike. The driver must sit comfortably and his well-being is paramount. The pillion passenger has to make do with a minimum of room, at best squeezed in with the driver's back in front of his nose, his back reaching from throat to backside thus blocking the pillion's view, except for maybe something out of one eye. Behind you, you have your own back which, tortured by potholes, could provide a subject for a research project into sensible seating arrangements.

After these introductory words you could believe that you are dealing with a total motorbike ignoramus, who has absolutely no idea.

Well, until then I did think of motorbikes as a simple means of transport like a car, bus or train, but with advantages like higher speed, ease of manoeuvring in traffic jams and simpler to park. But – nothing of all that. From the first time onwards as I made my road trips as a pillion package and stared at infinite miles of travel ahead, I started to understand that these general positions had to be looked at differently.

That is however a separate story. Now I would like to expand on the accusation aimed at me of ignorance and naivety regarding motorbikes.

In the beginning I was surprised at people who were incapable of serving at lunch the correct plate for a pork chop, filet steak or soup, so that, in order to keep the peace, you were forced to help yourself with a desert plate for the chop or an egg beaker for the soup, but otherwise were quite capable of recognising different motorbike types as they drove past, including even their date of manufacture. How was this possible? If they could do this, I could too, I said to myself.

It was not that simple and I am not complete in my knowledge even now, so I set myself small interim objectives in order to progress step-by-step, until the stage is reached where I can keep up with these so-called know-it-alls. I started at first on the theme of the roar of a motor and continued to deepen my knowledge of this. To begin with I kept my mouth closed because who trusts herself to ask questions that may sound stupid in company of such wisdom.

I heard people talking of "lemons" and later it became clear that these lemons had nothing to do with the well known fruit. Furthermore I heard of "Japs" and backfiring ( apparently for motorbike purists a childish and completely irrelevant invention ). Still more philosophy on cylinders with power losses at low revs ?????. equally, talk about some sort of part of a Harley that one day would surely break the neck of the "intellectual group" of these motorbike wallies ( at this point the beer drinking group grinned and laughed loudly ). No ???..this method of learning did not work so that I could not continue my study successfully. I had to find something more simple to start with and because I had already joined the Guzzi world, I decide to learn how to tell the difference between a Guzzi and all the other motorbikes.

Was it maybe possible to recognise these monsters from their noise? No, impossible, that was quickly obvious. Many of the so-called super experts who claimed sensitive hearing that apparently enabled them to differentiate machines by their starting noise were as a rule bletherers, because one day, I experienced the following. A super expert recognised a Guzzi V7 starting up in the distance, but as it drove past, it turned out to be an old Porsche tractor, on which sat an old man transporting his turnips.

Maybe one could recognise a motorbike by its oil spots on the floor, or by the oil marks on the motorbike boots of one of these authorities, which are always accepted with stoical resignation and a subjective look? But this could not be the answer either because these colleagues tell the difference between bike manufacturers and types just as they go racing past – something I cannot understand as even my super eyes of Argus cannot recognise a manufacturer's logo on a fast moving bike.

So maybe the secret lay in the exhaust pipes? But there again, some of them had been completely removed, what a crazy idea, I thought. In the motorbike world this is called, I believe, according to motorbike junkies, "free exhaust" or "freedom for the exhaust pipe". It is apparently chic and seems to be the in thing.

At last I seemed to be getting to the centre of the matter. The cylinders! They were available as V-twins, with 180 degree angles, with more and less pitch, somehow available in different forms, others seemed to have only one cylinder, some three, four , five, six ??..even up to twelve apparently.

So, simple or not? NO!!!!!!!!!! Not at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because I had a problem, a really serious problem – I did not know what a cylinder was, what it looked like, where it was situated or where I could find it. Nevertheless I was sure I was on the right path.

I had already heard some commentary about how clever and successful a manufacturer of a legendary genre from south of the Alps had been, in deciding 80 years ago to construct two-cylinder motors. Besides that their design seems to have been so carefully thought out that they were capable of cooling themselves, somehow like a terrific refrigerator, and that this company mastered the art of many other wonders. ( They are supposed to have built monstrously shaped and moulded objects that other manufacturers often tried to copy with little or no success.)

Finally I believed I had found the answer: cylinders were those two things that just about melt together with the driver's knees and whose design are often the cause for room for interesting argument, namely about whether they should be painted or better still, chromium-plated and polished, or sand-blasted, or chromium-plated and painted ?????these expert discussions could last ad infinitum????and the participants enjoyed themselves beyond belief?????.?????????????????. Well, as far as I am concerned, everything goes, has its own purpose, they think it is cool and enormously amusing.

One day during my observations for my study, they nearly crept up on me and very nearly caught me out. All provoked due to my impetuous and ill-considered impulse in the search for knowledge. Because that particular "well-known part", whose name I forget again and again, cannot be chrome-plated. The truth is that I really had no idea of anything and that I thought that these "silinders" or whatever they were called looked at best when chrome-plated.

But they were made from Aluminium and chemically they cannot be chrome-plated. So now I had learnt something new yet again and kept simply quiet by keeping my mouth shut. I think that no-one noticed anything about my lack of knowledge and anyway, these sort of bikers assume we have no idea about what they are discussing and our participation at bikers meetings is irrelevant. We accept all that. But one fine day they will rub their eyes in wonder and experience a big surprise???????.

Suddenly – Eureka! It was possible for me to tell the difference between a Guzzi, Harley, BMW and the other "lemons", but the interest for this discovery was zero, they were only interested in their loved Guzzis. I had learnt here again the false topic, but these poor other brand names ???..everyone has a certain right to an existence on this earth, even HDs, wide-angled Guzzis from Bavaria and these pitiable lemons. Or not?

As a self-taught lady, I tested myself over a period of time on my own knowledge. Everything was OK, top marks, whether 180 degrees V-twin or 60 degrees??.

Hurray! The end had arrived, I told you that it could not be so difficult.

During the euphoric beginnings I wanted to improve my skills in telling the difference between motorbikes. But why????????? I thought, if they, as I had realised in the meantime, as soon as they own such a machine undertake every step to re-model it beyond recognition????

I decided that is would be better to concentrate on motorbike terminology, to learn all the words and jargon in order to express them in those well-known ominous conversations, because I have learnt in the meantime, how the Mr. Experts only speak in jargon, without knowing themselves the real meaning of the words, never mind knowing whatever the

parts they are mentioning are used for.

????????????

I now play this game at all opportunities and to all unknown to me Guzzi Ladies who would like to benefit from my discoveries and experiences I recommend my web site and look forward to you contacting me. www.marujaenmoto.es

Bye for now

Dulcinea

>> .. >>.. >> .. >> .. .. ..		.........how Dulcinea learnt to recognise a Guzzi and to differentiate................. Amongst the many two-cylinder bike riders who try to catch the various emotions that are aroused by a lower chassis, an unusual exhaust pipe, shining assembly work or simply by a motorbike that has nothing in common with the original, there are very few, including me, who have ever really repaired their bike themselves. All my knowledge and insight into the two cylinder world, which I today master with obvious ease, is the result of that self discipline, which, as part and parcel of my entry into the Guzzi world, forced me onto the pillion. With this beginning, the adversities began that one has to suffer when sharing a seat with the driver of a motorbike. The driver must sit comfortably and his well-being is paramount. The pillion passenger has to make do with a minimum of room, at best squeezed in with the driver's back in front of his nose, his back reaching from throat to backside thus blocking the pillion's view, except for maybe something out of one eye. Behind you, you have your own back which, tortured by potholes, could provide a subject for a research project into sensible seating arrangements. After these introductory words you could believe that you are dealing with a total motorbike ignoramus, who has absolutely no idea. Well, until then I did think of motorbikes as a simple means of transport like a car, bus or train, but with advantages like higher speed, ease of manoeuvring in traffic jams and simpler to park. But – nothing of all that. From the first time onwards as I made my road trips as a pillion package and stared at infinite miles of travel ahead, I started to understand that these general positions had to be looked at differently. That is however a separate story. Now I would like to expand on the accusation aimed at me of ignorance and naivety regarding motorbikes. In the beginning I was surprised at people who were incapable of serving at lunch the correct plate for a pork chop, filet steak or soup, so that, in order to keep the peace, you were forced to help yourself with a desert plate for the chop or an egg beaker for the soup, but otherwise were quite capable of recognising different motorbike types as they drove past, including even their date of manufacture. How was this possible? If they could do this, I could too, I said to myself. It was not that simple and I am not complete in my knowledge even now, so I set myself small interim objectives in order to progress step-by-step, until the stage is reached where I can keep up with these so-called know-it-alls. I started at first on the theme of the roar of a motor and continued to deepen my knowledge of this. To begin with I kept my mouth closed because who trusts herself to ask questions that may sound stupid in company of such wisdom. I heard people talking of "lemons" and later it became clear that these lemons had nothing to do with the well known fruit. Furthermore I heard of "Japs" and backfiring ( apparently for motorbike purists a childish and completely irrelevant invention ). Still more philosophy on cylinders with power losses at low revs ?????. equally, talk about some sort of part of a Harley that one day would surely break the neck of the "intellectual group" of these motorbike wallies ( at this point the beer drinking group grinned and laughed loudly ). No ???..this method of learning did not work so that I could not continue my study successfully. I had to find something more simple to start with and because I had already joined the Guzzi world, I decide to learn how to tell the difference between a Guzzi and all the other motorbikes. Was it maybe possible to recognise these monsters from their noise? No, impossible, that was quickly obvious. Many of the so-called super experts who claimed sensitive hearing that apparently enabled them to differentiate machines by their starting noise were as a rule bletherers, because one day, I experienced the following. A super expert recognised a Guzzi V7 starting up in the distance, but as it drove past, it turned out to be an old Porsche tractor, on which sat an old man transporting his turnips. Maybe one could recognise a motorbike by its oil spots on the floor, or by the oil marks on the motorbike boots of one of these authorities, which are always accepted with stoical resignation and a subjective look? But this could not be the answer either because these colleagues tell the difference between bike manufacturers and types just as they go racing past – something I cannot understand as even my super eyes of Argus cannot recognise a manufacturer's logo on a fast moving bike. So maybe the secret lay in the exhaust pipes? But there again, some of them had been completely removed, what a crazy idea, I thought. In the motorbike world this is called, I believe, according to motorbike junkies, "free exhaust" or "freedom for the exhaust pipe". It is apparently chic and seems to be the in thing. At last I seemed to be getting to the centre of the matter. The cylinders! They were available as V-twins, with 180 degree angles, with more and less pitch, somehow available in different forms, others seemed to have only one cylinder, some three, four , five, six ??..even up to twelve apparently. So, simple or not? NO!!!!!!!!!! Not at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I had a problem, a really serious problem – I did not know what a cylinder was, what it looked like, where it was situated or where I could find it. Nevertheless I was sure I was on the right path. I had already heard some commentary about how clever and successful a manufacturer of a legendary genre from south of the Alps had been, in deciding 80 years ago to construct two-cylinder motors. Besides that their design seems to have been so carefully thought out that they were capable of cooling themselves, somehow like a terrific refrigerator, and that this company mastered the art of many other wonders. ( They are supposed to have built monstrously shaped and moulded objects that other manufacturers often tried to copy with little or no success.) Finally I believed I had found the answer: cylinders were those two things that just about melt together with the driver's knees and whose design are often the cause for room for interesting argument, namely about whether they should be painted or better still, chromium-plated and polished, or sand-blasted, or chromium-plated and painted ?????these expert discussions could last ad infinitum????and the participants enjoyed themselves beyond belief?????.?????????????????. Well, as far as I am concerned, everything goes, has its own purpose, they think it is cool and enormously amusing. One day during my observations for my study, they nearly crept up on me and very nearly caught me out. All provoked due to my impetuous and ill-considered impulse in the search for knowledge. Because that particular "well-known part", whose name I forget again and again, cannot be chrome-plated. The truth is that I really had no idea of anything and that I thought that these "silinders" or whatever they were called looked at best when chrome-plated. But they were made from Aluminium and chemically they cannot be chrome-plated. So now I had learnt something new yet again and kept simply quiet by keeping my mouth shut. I think that no-one noticed anything about my lack of knowledge and anyway, these sort of bikers assume we have no idea about what they are discussing and our participation at bikers meetings is irrelevant. We accept all that. But one fine day they will rub their eyes in wonder and experience a big surprise???????. Suddenly – Eureka! It was possible for me to tell the difference between a Guzzi, Harley, BMW and the other "lemons", but the interest for this discovery was zero, they were only interested in their loved Guzzis. I had learnt here again the false topic, but these poor other brand names ???..everyone has a certain right to an existence on this earth, even HDs, wide-angled Guzzis from Bavaria and these pitiable lemons. Or not? As a self-taught lady, I tested myself over a period of time on my own knowledge. Everything was OK, top marks, whether 180 degrees V-twin or 60 degrees??. Hurray! The end had arrived, I told you that it could not be so difficult. During the euphoric beginnings I wanted to improve my skills in telling the difference between motorbikes. But why????????? I thought, if they, as I had realised in the meantime, as soon as they own such a machine undertake every step to re-model it beyond recognition???? I decided that is would be better to concentrate on motorbike terminology, to learn all the words and jargon in order to express them in those well-known ominous conversations, because I have learnt in the meantime, how the Mr. Experts only speak in jargon, without knowing themselves the real meaning of the words, never mind knowing whatever the parts they are mentioning are used for. ???????????? I now play this game at all opportunities and to all unknown to me Guzzi Ladies who would like to benefit from my discoveries and experiences I recommend my web site and look forward to you contacting me. www.marujaenmoto.es Bye for now Dulcinea	Please click a photo
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